10 Things you should never say to a Woman
Women are often victims of the worst kinds of verbal assaults, and in many cases, the attacker doesn’t even realize they’ve caused offense. Hurling any one of these phrases at a woman is likely to ruin her day, so pay close attention and please do avoid them in the future. This is information that is particularly useful for guys because let’s face it, guys tend to sometimes say what’s on their mind without taking the time to consider the potential consequences.
1. WANT TO COME BACK TO MY PLACE?
Men are famous for being direct, and it often does not occur to them to present things in a more subtle manner when they share what’s on their mind. A man asking a woman if she wants to come to his place makes it pretty obvious that he is expecting something to happen. It’s best to be less direct about it and leave things more open-ended. Saying something like, “I’m having such a good time, I really don’t want to this night to end yet,” is going to be received a lot better, and will give her a chance to suggest going back to your place (or inviting you to hers!) if that’s what she really wants to do.
2. THREATENING HER WITH VIOLENCE
Why? Many women already live in fear of male violence. Male violence against women is a widespread and deeply damaging phenomenon. Even if you never lay a hand on a single woman, threatening to do so puts you on the side of those who do harm, rather than those who don’t. As well, threats are particularly terrifying if you or someone close to you has actually experienced real violence.
Physical threats might come off as joking, non-serious or otherwise par for the course between you and other men, but it’s a very different situation when you’re using threats of physical violence against women, who typically cannot defend themselves in a one-on-one confrontation. Even a semi-threat like, “If you were a man, I’d punch you right now,” comes across as deeply terrifying. Don’t do that.
3. CALM DOWN
It might sound reasonable, but when you break it down, it’s not very constructive advice. Instead, think of something that can be done or said that might have a shot of actually calming her down. “Calm down,” is definitely not it.
4. YOUR SISTER IS SO HOT.
You can pretty much replace “sister” with any reference to another female, but the key thing to remember for men is to keep your mouth shut about how other women look unless you are asked. And in that case, it’s best to tone things down no matter how hot the other woman is. You don’t have to be totally cliché and say something like, “She’s pretty, but not as hot as you,” although with some women that might be just what they want to hear.
5. ARE YOU SURE YOU NEED TO EAT THAT?
If a woman wants to have seconds, or thirds, that’s her right and nothing for anyone else to question. Doing so is a surefire way to instantly make her feel uncomfortable.
6.TELLING HER SHE’S UGLY OR FAT
The trope that women are looks-obsessed is not entirely without merit. However, it’s due to them being conditioned to understand that their looks are the most important quality they have by a society that prizes female beauty above any other trait.
As a result, almost all women are hyper-conscious of looks, not unlike the way almost all men are highly conscious of notions of toughness and strength.
Telling a woman that she is ugly or fat is a direct attack on one of the most vulnerable parts of her psyche. In a world where the models for beauty are endlessly made-up and photo shopped, even the most naturally beautiful women in the world cannot compete with men’s expectations of that beauty.
There is no winning this game. Don’t add to the frustration of that by complaining that she doesn’t live up to your standards, too, or subtly suggesting she “wear some makeup” or “work out more.” It’s not necessary.
7. MY EX…
When you start a sentence like this, there’s almost nowhere good you can go with it. Even if a man were to say something like, “My ex looks like an English Bulldog compared to you,” which he may think is a fabulous compliment, she will always look for the hidden meaning. In this case, she may wonder if the guy is spending too much time thinking about his ex when he should be focused on her.
8. YOUR HAIR LOOKS BETTER…
It does not matter what a man chooses to stick on the end of this one either. No matter how well-intended a guy may be, this is going to be interpreted along the lines of, “Wow, you look awful with your hair like that!” Again, for guys, subtlety is the way to go. A man is much better of waiting for an occasion where he thinks a woman looks particularity fantastic and say something like, “Wow, I really love your hair like that. You look gorgeous.”
9. HOW MANY GUYS HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH?
This is the kind of question that swirls around in a man’s head with great regularity after he starts a new relationship. This is also one of those questions that have the potential of doing more damage to the guy asking than it is to the woman being asked. Most of the time, a guy really doesn’t want to know the answer to this question, but a kind of morbid curiosity drives him to finally ask this uber-awkward question. In many cases, the answer to this one is not what the guy was hoping for, and then there’s the question of whether or not it’s an accurate count or one that’s been “downsized.”
10. WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE SOME CHILDREN
Some women struggle with fertility issues. Others have decided not to have children at all. Maybe she and her partner agree that the time isn’t right. Asking a woman when she’s going to have children or telling her that her “biological clock is ticking” is a serious no-no.
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