Love could be so sweet as well as being so bitter. It’s not an easy task to find true love. But when you eventually do, and both of you are truly and equally committed, the sky will be too small to contain your limit of joy and stability.
Women rule the world. They possess innate abilities that could make or mar a man. That is probably why those of them who recognize the enormous powers they possess use it to their own advantage.
James Hardly chase said “A Man’s best friend is his Wife”. And so with your “best friend” you could initiate plans and have a vision and a foundation on which the entire family stands like a solid rock. This could also be during the thick and thin periods of life.
At this juncture, let me give kudus to those families celebrating 50 years or 20 years or even 10 and 5 years of marital bliss. Not that there won’t be differences and disagreement but such cannot snowball to degenerate into something unfortunate to harm the relationship. This is true because there are no two human beings that are entirely the same. Even identical twins have their own differences.
Be that as it may, beauty along doesn’t mean the perseverance of marriage. There are lots of beautiful women in this country but very few marriageable ones. To find that true love that will stand the text of time especially in this clime, where living conditions could be adverse, takes time.
True and desired love rests on the spirit of conviviality and mutual respect. There has to be a “give and take culture” whereby during landmark or ceremonial activities and events gifts are exchanged. It’s not easy for a man to be alone, to face the vicissitude and undaunting challenges of life. There has to be a soul mate, a confidant in the true sense of it. It’s hard when you work all day long, then come home to an empty house and sleep with your arms wrapped around your pillow, wishing you had someone to hold. No amount of “booze” can hide that kind of loneliness.
It’s the pain of having so much to share and nobody to share it with. But don’t despair, God knows your plight and He cares so much for you. The season you’re in right now won’t last forever. A new one is coming, with new energy, new and abiding relationships, new experiences, weeping may occur for the night but joy cometh in the morning. I boldly say “your joy will return”.
A lot of Nigerian women are easily swayed by material possessions. They don’t care how you make your money or even if you have a dream and a vision for tomorrow. As long as you can “Oil” the relationship is okay by them. That is probably why they prefer yahoo yahoo boys, and others who make their monies through short cuts. To find a woman who can stick with you in adverse conditions takes time. It is often said that in “Prosperity our friends know us but in Adversity we know our friends.” Life in Nigeria of today is very tough. If and if by chance you find a woman who understands the realities of times and can stick with you despite your debilitating harsh conditions without double standards, please treasure her. She is a rare gem.
It’s so amazing to be loved. In saner climes you can see a woman falling in love with a security guard because there’s something about that guy that fascinates her and tickles her fancy. Such is life over there. Not here, in Nigeria where it will be called a taboo. God has predestined our lives. He knew us while we were being formed in our mother’s womb. He knows the end from the beginning. He calls forth those things that were as though they be not. Never judge a man from his present circumstance.
Most Nigerian woman want “ready made materials” that is, those who have made it. Let me categorically say the difference is clear. If a woman accepts to go out with a struggling man who hasn’t made it, chances are, when eventually things turn around for the better in years to come, that woman must be revered and admired with glowing attributes hence the saying behind every successful man, there is a woman. Not the other way round where a man has already made his money. It’s not bad, but the danger is “he is at liberty to do as he pleases by having a mistress or another relationship outside wedlock. Do you blame him? Certainly not because you weren’t there when he made it.
Most female celebrities think because they have made it, therefore, their men should also have made it. And so, when such two come together, the relationship crashes with time because of the faulty perception.
Universally, the power of love can be so great, if a man and his spouse have certain affinities for one another not based on materialism, therein, the oil of compassion and the wine of love would pour into the relationship and it endures with time.
The bible tells us in Proverbs 12:4 that “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones” love is kind, love tolerates and love forgives and endures. My sincere and utmost regards an admiration goes to all those families out there who have genuinely found love and stability over time. My wish and prayer is that I too, would aspire to be like you once again, having being forced by circumstances beyond my control to seek love once again. Until then, have fervent love for one another “LOVE WILL COVER A MULTITUDE OF SINS”…
By Kenny Okotie
Abadingo Abadango Foundation